Blame It on Bianca Del Rio: The Expert on Nothing With an Opinion on Everything by Bianca Del Rio

Author:Bianca Del Rio [Bianca Del Rio]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780062690876
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2018-05-22T04:00:00+00:00

Dear Bianca,

There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just put it out there, and hope you don’t throw shade. I’m in love with my boyfriend’s brother and want to hook up with him. Okay, backstory: My BF Jake and I are both 22. His brother, Noah, is 19, and he’s spending a month with us on his break from college. Jake is smart and funny and cute and I love him, but Noah has six-pack abs and a dick of death. Can I have it all without ruining my relationship with Jake? If anyone has the answer it would be you—you survived Drag Race and had it all.

Aaron

San Diego, California

Dear Aaron,

HAD it all is right. I went through that money faster than Kevin Spacey goes through Prep. Aaron, why would I throw shade . . . you whiny, selfish, covetous, home-wrecking piece of shit? Just kidding, Mary; I have no idea if you’re whiny. But I do know that you need to get your priorities straight. A good boyfriend is hard to find, but finding a ten-inch dick is even harder. So, pack your bags, call an Uber, and let Noah matriculate in the back of your throat. OR, IN BIG, BOLD CAPS, see if Jake and Noah are interested in having a family “get-together.” (You know what they say: “Vice is nice, but incest is best.”) And if that All in the Family three-way works out, then you should all pack your bags, get plane tickets, and move to West Virginia, where “families like yers dun be the norm, nobody dun never marry anyone but kinfolk.” Yee-hah! #DickPicsPlease #Deliverance #Banjo☺

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